So I was bored the other night and joined match.com....I really wish you didnt have to pay money to actually contact people on there...some of the guys were really cute and sound like the could be fun! :-( Stupid sites...I may as well just go out to a bar if I am going to spend money to meet guys.
My ex-boyfriend/part time roommate that is shacking up with his new girlfriend/coworker is such a man whore...after 8 1/2 years with him, I had no idea that he was like this. Not only did he cheat on me with one of the girls he works with, he is now "dating" and shacking up with a different girl he works with and just told me tonight that he is going out with yet another one of his coworkers on Thursday!! wtf!!! We have only been broken up for just over a month!!! And we have hooked up a few times in the last few weeks too (I know, I shouldn't have but you know what, I am lonely and not the type of person to just go throw myself at random guys at a bar) ...and his new "girlfriend" has no idea that he is essentially cheating on her with me and now some other girl that they work with...and he has no plans to tell her any of this...I just honestly don't know him at all anymore...if I ever truly did.
I believe him when he has told me that he only cheated on me twice in the time we were together (last summer and right before we broke up a month or so ago)...I told him that if we had any chance at being friends that I need 100% honesty from him...and he has been true to that...even when I haven't wanted him to be.
You have to know our history a bit to fully understand our relationship...we met when he was 21 and I was 18 (we are now 30 and 27). We worked together for about 4-5 months before we started "dating" outside of work (just movies and he lived close to me so he would take me to and from work sometimes when we had similar shifts). And then on my 19th birthday in January 2006 our relationship changed, I had checked myself into a hotel for the weekend as a treat to myself to "get away" from everyone...and Joseph stayed the weekend with me...We didn't have sex until 3 months later on his 22nd birthday, but we made the jump on my birthday weekend to more than just coworkers hanging out outside of work. We were never truly "friends" before though and when we jumped into a relationship we never had that friendship foundation.
So now, 9 years later, we have hit rock bottom and we both decided that we need to take a break from being together while we work on just being friends, as well as work on our own personal issues that both of us have. I won't say that it has been easy, because it has been hell some nights...knowing he is with someone else, but I still love him and I want him to be happy. And if his man-whore ways are making him happy right now, then so be it. I won't lie, I do hope that he will realize down the road that I am the one he wants to really be with...and maybe he will and maybe he won't...and maybe I will find someone else in the meantime that I love and want to be with more than him. All I know for sure is that I don't want to loose him from my life and I do want us to be friends.
I don't know...I am rambling a bit...one of the things that Joseph and I had problems with in the past is that I would vent and talk his ear off about everything and I would expect him to fix my problems and essentially use him as a free psychologist...but then I wouldn't do the same for him...he was always on me about starting a journal or something, so this is me finally doing that. I am aware that this may never actually be seen and read by anyone, but I also know that it may actually be seen and read by people, including family and friends...I am posting it here instead of on facebook because I am tired of the negative comments and such about my venting...so I am not looking for advice or judgment for what I write about on here...this is my venting space.
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