It has been exactly a month since I last wrote. I moved about 2 weeks ago, just into the unit next door from my old place but it is a place of my own and I'm not living with my ex, so that is something. He is officially in a new relationship with one of his coworkers, Erin, and she has practically moved herself right in with him (he is still in our old unit). He keeps saying that he won't let her move in with him, but he has...she even has her little dog over there too.
Us being friends has kind of fizzled. She has told him point blank that he isn't to have any kind of contact with me for fear that I will seduce him away from her. If she is that worried about him cheating on her and/or leaving her to come back to me, than she has issues. He has made it very clear where I stand and the fact that he doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore (and hasn't for over a year). But he is afraid that if he goes behind her back to hang out with me and txt with me that she will find out and that she will blow up and be mad at him and cause him all sorts of stress and drama. And when we had been hanging out I would get frustrated at him because he was so stressed about her randomly showing up or finding out that he was with me and that caused him stress and drama with me and he just couldn't take it from both sides anymore. So of course he chose her. :-(
We had a fight the other day and he hasn't spoken to me since. I had tried to convince him to have the 3 of us sit down and talk and to get her to understand that she has nothing to fear from us remaining friends. Yes, we have a history together, but it is in the past and he has made that very clear...to me at least. Why she can't wrap her head around that concept is beyond me. I just txted him about an hour ago asking him to come over and talk to me so I can figure out where we stand but he hasn't responded or come over yet...so I have a feeling that he has made his final decision and decided that us being friends isn't going to work out...all because he is unwilling to fight for it and to defend the idea to his new girlfriend
He has been telling me for the last month or so that he didn't want to cut me out of his life completely and that he was willing to fight for us to remain friends and that he wasn't going to let her control who his friends are...but when it really mattered and it came time for him to truly fight for our friendship...he threw in the towel...he gave in to her demands and ultimatums of her or me...he chose her...even though we hadn't really been working and thriving as a romantic couple, we still had good times together and I thought that he really did care about keeping me in his life even if it was just as a friend.
I obviously still have feelings for him and those won't go away over night, but I was willing to hide them and to just enjoy hanging out and eventually I would have found someone else and we could be truly happy for each other that we had found other people to love and to be with but he has made the choice that keeping his ex-girlfriend (a person that he doesn't see any kind of romantic future with) around wasn't worth loosing his new girlfriend who he might have a future with...
No comments:
Post a Comment